Saturday, January 15, 2011

Ten Lessons of 2010

Just when you thought all of the touchy-feely pondery reflecty 2010 review blog posts were over, here I am with another one. But some things take reflection and reflection takes longer than one day… especially when that day involves a hangover. But I digress. Here, in no particular order, are ten big lessons I learned in 2010:

No matter how much you think you’ve got something figured out… you don’t. Ever. I started 2010 thinking I was going to stay in North Idaho for the rest of my life and that my marriage was pretty much perfect and had overcome every possible obstacle. Months later, I’d put my house up for sale and worked through more issues than Dr. Phil could imagine. Don’t become too set in your ways because you never know when you’ll change. Trust me. How you feel today may not be how you feel in a year.

I can do things I never thought I could, even things I thought were impossible. I’m still trying to get myself to believe this one, but I did several things in 2010 I never thought I could. We really are stronger and more powerful than we know. Don't sell yourself short. 

Things are rarely what they seem. I can’t get into detail here, but I got straight up bitch-slapped with this truth in 2010. No matter how perfect of a life someone lives and how together they seem to be, don’t be jealous… because you never know. Everyone is going through something, everyone has baggage, and the faces people present to the world often don’t reflect what’s going on inside. Chances are, the people you envy are envious of aspects of your life, too. 

You will never be a good friend, parent, partner or member of society if you don’t take care of yourself and put your well being first. However, you’ll never be complete if you only take care of yourself and don’t help others take care of themselves, too.

Wine is my friend. Hard alcohol is my enemy. But drinks like lemon drops and mojitos make it too good to give up entirely. So basically much more research must be done on this one.

A large group of people will believe anything if it’s shouted at them often enough and “backed up” with “evidence.” Take that however you want to interpret it.

Nothing is permanent, so don’t get too attached. There were a lot of changes in my life in 2010, and I don’t just mean the decision to sell my house and move. Couples broke up, people left, people lost and gained jobs, babies were born, people changed their lives. It’s human nature to fear change, but it’s so much easier if you embrace it and realize that it’s part of life and not necessarily a bad thing.

It is possible to still feel genuine lust for someone you’ve known for a decade and seen sick, tired, pale, and first thing in the morning. It's also possible to fall in love with the same person more than once.

Very few people are genuinely worth the energy it takes to maintain a true friendship. But when you find the few that are worth it, hold onto them and put forth that energy. A good support system, whether it consists of two people or ten, is vital to survival.

You can go on living after tragedy strikes… even the worst of the worst. I didn’t learn this by experiencing it myself last year, but by watching people I care about lose jobs and relationships and have loved ones die and pick themselves back up and carry on with grace and class. While I’d give anything to take their pain away, watching them handle life’s heartbreaks gave me confidence to know I will survive when the inevitable happens to me.

What did you learn in 2010?


Sally said...

I learned that Wisdom doesn't always present as a wise old crone ~ and that the most real and resounding Truths often flow from the finger tips of a beautiful, loving blond with blue eyes.

My daughters would benefit knowing, and being close to, someone like you.

Happy New Year Jessica - I value our contact.

JessicaLee said...

Sally, I believe the highest compliment one can pay another person is the approval of being around her children. Thank you very much. :)

Laurie Boris said...

Jess, excellent and SPOT ON! I wish I'd known these things a couple decades back. And YES, you are stronger than you can ever know.

Anonymous said...

I've also learned that no matter how much things change-- people do too. Hearts and feelings may change; people can be stronger than ever before. And I learned to trust. Trust the events that are happening because of the change and strengths of ourselves & our souls.

JessicaLee said...

Thanks Laurie. :) Paulina, learning to trust can be one of the hardest things we ever learn. Some never do.

gatordad said...

In my 62 years of life, the one thing that I have learned is:

Things are never as good as they seem.


Things are never as bad as they seem.

When everything is going great and you are sitting on top of the world..get ready! It's all about to turn to crap.

Likewise, when everything is falling down around your head and nothing is going right, something is about to happen that will turn it all around.

It has always happened in my life and it will in yours.

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